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What to Do When Your Ex Badmouths You to the Kids?
Harboring and expressing intense negative emotions towards your ex can create a hostile environment that is detrimental to your children’s development. It can also complicate the legal process and make it more difficult to reach agreements on important matters. By managing your emotions it can demonstrate that you are capable of prioritizing your children’s needs and making sound decisions, even in a challenging situation. This can positively impact the outcome of your case and pave the way for a smoother transition for all parties involved.
If you have discovered your ex is badmouthing you to the children, it’s important to take the necessary steps to safeguard their well-being. Please continue reading as we explore how to respond when an ex badmouths you to the kids and why connecting with a determined Ocean County Child Custody Attorney is in your best interest.
What is Badmouthing?
Badmouthing is often defined as criticizing or disparaging someone or something. In the context of child custody battles, it can take many forms such as:
- Name-calling
- Snide remarks
- Exaggerating flaws
- Spreading false information
- Disportportional blaming
- Constant criticism
- Biased stories
- Backhanded compliments
- Omitting truths or telling out-right lies
When a parent speaks negatively about the other parent, it can harm the child’s relationship with both parents. The child may begin to resent the parent who is being criticized, and they may also become defensive toward the parent who is doing the badmouthing.
In addition, when one parent is constantly criticized, children may internalize the insults as they see themselves as a combination of both parents. This can lead to low self-esteem, self-hatred, and a host of other issues. Children also may feel pressured to choose sides, which can cause anxiety and add to the child’s stress.
How to Respond When You Discover Your Ex Badmouths You to the Children?
Understanding how to best respond to badmouthing is crucial to safeguarding your children. While it can be difficult to remain calm, you should avoid reacting angrily and lashing out in front of your kids as this will do more harm than good. Your natural instinct is to defend yourself, however, you should validate your children’s feelings instead. You should correct the information without blaming your ex or calling the other parent a liar.
It’s important to reaffirm to your children that you love, respect, and appreciate them for confiding in you about the badmouthing. You should inform them that you will not involve them in the conflict, as it’s unfair. After you’ve reassured your children and cooled off, you should contact your ex and ask them to stop saying mean-spirited things about you to the kids. Keep a record of the specific instances in which your ex has spoken ill of you to the children. This can serve as pertinent evidence if legal action is necessary.
If your ex’s badmouthing has significantly impacted your ability to co-parent or caused emotional distress to your children, please don’t hesitate to contact The Law Office of Sarina Gianna, LLC, to discuss your options with a compassionate child custody attorney. Connect with our firm today to learn more about what we can do for you during these difficult times.